Blithering Idiots
by Hp head
Summary: "Dad's gonna kill us!" "Dad's in Belgium." "MOM's GONNA KILL US! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Albus Severus could name a hundred ways James Sirius had caused destruction in his life but, this one topped them all. Read the Potter-Weasley clan scramble through adolescence, family drama and their romantic lives. WARNING: Buffoonery spotted!
1. Too many Ginny Weasley's to deal with!

**A/N: OK…This is something I have been meaning to post since a very long time and I am just in love with it. I have about 24 chapters planned and 18 on paper (I know crazy, right?).**

 **I can bet you with my life that this is the only thing I think about and I love writing it.**

 **I love you for reading this :***

 **DISCLAIMER: Anything you recognize is J.K Rowling's and only the plot belongs to me.**

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **Too many Ginny Weasley's to deal with!**

"OH MERLIN! OH MERLIN!" said Albus as he paced his dormitory about ten times per second. His head was in his hands and drops of sweat trickled down his hairline to his jaw. That made James stop laughing at the entire situation. He just couldn't get enough of it already. He regained his posture.

Albus felt as though nothing worse could have happened that day.

He was guaranteed wrong but, it was definitely not the right time to break it to him.

Thus, James stood opposite him, calm and serene with his hands folded, racking his brains to figure how years of skilled experience of causing trouble via pranks had not helped him to carry out a simple shenanigan! He had messed up the letter and lost his brother's faith (Not that he cared or anything but, he was too pessimistic to ignore any downsides). Truthfully, he liked drama in his life and it was fun to have something to think about. Plus, the way everything had turned out was truly hilarious.

"Merlin's pants!" screeched Albus. That was followed by a series of curses which would have fazed an innocent ear. James was not one but, he was partially (or entirely, according to his parents) responsible for that little brother to grow into a decent human (again, according to his parents). Thus, despite being the initiator of Albus' profanity, James had to put an end to it, as if sensing a Howler from his mother already on the way.

"Would you get your head out of your ass!" he said, taking Albus by the shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. "We still have a chance. I could go snoop it out of McGonagall's office. Or maybe-"

"You'll do nothing of that sort!" said Albus vehemently. His green eyes turned to slits. He pushed away James and took a couple of steps behind. "We're in big trouble and you know there is no way out! Dad's going to kill us!"

"Dad's in Belgium"

Albus' eyes bulged out in horror and he said, "MOM'S GOING TO KILL US! That's even worse!" Albus' hands reached his hair and his fingers tangled them.

'Yeah, Mom will eat us alive.' James agreed internally. But, this was a thought which occurred to him almost thrice a day; hence it hardly fazed him anymore. But, James was done with Albus' behavior. Sure, he had screwed up and was the reason that the threat of being expelled now lingered over Albus and him. It is not like he did it on purpose. He had no idea that Longbottom had the letter charmed. He could have checked though…. It was only this one minute detail he had forgotten to consider. But, that happens to everyone!

Albus' musings grew more once James gave up consoling him. A hundred repercussions crossed his mind, each one graver than the last. He pressed the bridge of his nose.

"Albus are you Okay?" asked Luke from across Ablus' four poster bed.

"Oh, yes. It's all bloody well." Albus waved away the trouble lightly. "Just figuring out a hundred more ways to KILL BLOODY JAMES POTTER!" His voice cracked with anger and he stood inches from James' face.

That pushed James' buttons.

"Would you just calm your freaking tits?" he said, exasperated.

Ahem. Said a blonde from Randy's four poster bed. Jannet made a disapproving face and said, "Two girls in the room, you know?"

The brunette next to Jannet piped up, "Not anymore." Audorie dragged Jannet by her wrist, made sure there was no eye contact between her and James and led Jannet through the door of the dormitory.

Randy and Luke shared a look. As if on cue, Randy piped up: "I am pretty sure that I and Luke have a detention to attend."

"Detention! I will be having detention for the first time in my life and it will all be because I listened to you." Albus looked like he was going to puke. His face turned yellow and his mouth soured. Several wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

James had always thought that he doesn't even feel the prick of a needle when it comes to his brother but, he was wrong this time. He felt a lot more.

Guilt? Nah! He felt pathetically annoyed. 'How can Albus make everything about himself?' he thought. 'Yes, I was supposed to get rid of the letter for him but, so what if I took advantage of the little owl? I needed that. I wanted to send her one letter, a letter which would change everything between us.' But, he couldn't tell Albus about her. It wouldn't be fair to her. James would disclose plenty of secrets in the process. James wasn't really sure if he had that authority. What James was really sure about was that his dickhead of a brother had to be taken out of his misery.

"Seriously, Albus it was a mistake!"

"Is that how you apologize?"

"No. And I won't," he said as a matter of fact. When Albus started at him with rage in his eyes, James added, "We are brothers. We are supposed to screw it for each other! Yes, sometimes we may mess up and maybe one of us makes a mistake," he admitted and added with anticipation in his voice, "But, that is what the other is for. We are here to make things work when the other turns out to be an idiot. I am an idiot all the time! You know why? Because I know you will always side by me." James let silence speak for a while. "I know that in the end it will all be well. I know you will always have my back because I will always have yours." With that, he looked Albus straight in his eyes. His misty blue ones met Albus' larger green ones and they resonated with trust. "Bros are NEVER afraid to fail. A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the other bros are doing it. Leave no bro behind." A smirk broke on his face.

Awkward silence gorged the room.

Randy leaned closer to Luke's ear and whispered, never taking his eyes off James, "It was actually touching until he started quoting the Bro code."

"You guys think so? Thanks!" James spoke over Albus to Randy and Luke, grinning till the extent that his eyes lit up.

As if on cue, Albus piped up, "Don't talk Barney Stinson with me!" He balled his fists.

"What's the Bro code?" Luke replied back to Randy.

Randy's eyes left James and snapped at Luke. "IT'S ONLY THE BEST BOOK EVER! You've got to see it!"

Luke looked at the enraged Albus and the very amused James and said, "Well, there is nothing left here, is there?" With that they left their dormitory with the tension between James and Albus unwavered.

When Albus' gaze did not leave James, James sighed, realizing that he had to talk and tell him the truth behind the letter. Truth can be a bitch sometimes. "Pftt! Albus, this is a pathetic fight. I mean I know I have been pathetic most of my life. But, this is too much even for me! In fact, it was so pathetic that your friends left too. Not that they're not pathetic enough most of-"

"SHUT UP!" Albus cut James off. "They left because I refused to tell them what happened with the letter," he said once he had calmed down.

'Wow, Lily was right. He does look like a wazzock nutter when made mad,' was all James could think of. His eyes squinted to get a clearer look.

"I can't tell people that I took advice from the Barmy James Potter!" he snapped.

"Uh…ok," James snapped back to reality. His expression went from befuddled to forced concern. "I would like you to know that I am deeply hurt." He placed his hand on his chest to display mock hurt. Albus rolled his eyes. "And there is nothing else I would say to you because….." his voice faltered and he added, "because I am hurt." Disconcerted with himself for not being witty enough, James face-palmed internally but carried on anyway. "I prefer to say nothing to you so that my silence burdens you till eternity!" James said in a highly dramatic manner while raising his voice.

James turned on his heel and smirked. 'I am so good with drama.'

"James!" Albus ordered him back just when James placed his hand on the doorknob.

James cringed and turned wincing, to face Albus. "You really think you can mess up my day and leave?" questioned Albus with a stern face.

James' left eye twitched as he said, "I wanna say….no?"

The next thing James knew, he was pushed on his way out or, as he would later explain to anybody who asked him what the arm wrestling, tickling and pinching was about, he was being 'escorted through the door'.

"Why the hell is James Potter my brother?" Albus whined once he plopped on an armchair next to Audorie and Jannet.

"'Said Mister whiney for hundred and twenty seventh time.'" Audorie dictated.

Albus acted flattered, "You count?"

"Ever since you asked 'How much more am I going to suffer at my parent's behest?'" with that Audorie returned to her Charms assignment.

Luke and Randy approached them. Luke spoke up, "So are you going to tell us what crisis James cooked up this time?"

"Um..." Albus pondered over what to say for a while and he could only come up with- "Guys…I am not proud of what I did. I was in a very embarrassing situation and I had to take help from James…"

He let information sink in for some time. Until Luke spoke up, "Well, that sounds like something we should sit down for." He grabbed a chair and placed it next to Albus and the girls. Randy followed.

Just as Albus was about to begin Luke interrupted:

"Wait guys, I just remembered something! How do I look?" he questioned, running his hands through his silky blonde hair with a stupid grin across his face. His friends obliged to answer him turn by turn.

"Old" said Albus.

"Like a hippie" said Audorie.

"Are you finally menstruating?" mocked Jannet with huge, cruel smile.

"Pale. I told you, you should have had that cheesecake!" exclaimed Randy, throwing a fit.

Luke took turns to gasp at each of his friends or to glare and give a 'How could you?' look. He took the longest with Jannet. He finally plucked up the courage to speak:

"No, I meant how do my robes look-DON'T! TCH-JUST-DON'T!" Luke pointed fanatically at Jannet when she opened her mouth to answer with probably the most insulting reply ever. He added, "Albus, please just go with my thing." Luke raised his eyebrows at Albus expecting him to understand. "How do my robes look?"

"Like normal school robes do- "

Albus was cut mid sentence by Luke:

"WHAT DID I SAY?"

"You're robes look perfect on you," replied Albus in a robotic manner.

"Thank you," said Luke, now smiling broadly, pleased. "I've been told I look better without them." With that, his smile became a smug and his friends' anticipated applause became groans of disgust.

"EW"

Albus had his face in his hands. Jannet and Audorie were still trying to come in terms with what they had just heard.

"I don't know whether I should be grossed out or," said Randy, staring into the oblivion, "mildly impressed that you actually managed to improve your standards at something so shoddy itself."

"Why?" questioned Jannet to no one in particular.

Luke answered anyway, "It's one of my pick up lines, along with 'Where do I see us in five seconds?', 'I have a broomstick, you have a Quaffle, how about we play chase?' and 'My chamber has enough space for-'"

"PLEASE, SOMEONE MAKE HIM STOP TALKING!" wailed Jannet with her hands over her ears.

"'Said Miss Whiney for the fifty-sixth time this term.'" dictated Audorie.

Jannet turned to Audorie and said, "You count?"

"I have, ever since you asked, 'How much longer until I really have to kick his ass?' Hey, do you think it is time to finally kick his ass?"

"Nah," cut in Albus, "I think he is capable of a lot more. Have faith."

Everyone murmured their agreement, including Luke.

"Now, what was it you were saying?" asked Randy to Albus.

"I-"

"AUDORIE!" said the brunette, cheerfully from across the Common room.

"Oh, this is great." Albus said under his breath after he was tempted yet again, to punch the brunette right in the face for the hundredth time this term.

The Brunette was walking up to them. His forced swag looked clearly amateur to Albus and that just made Albus, Luke and Randy smirk rather than frown, like they usually would at Ruthford Brown. Sharing a dormitory with Ruthford for five long years and the three would still find him secretly despicable. He was like the guy in the leather jacket in a cheesy Muggle movie. Albus could not understand for the life of him why girls found him good looking. Sure, he had deep grey hooded eyes with a thick, muscular neck and dirty black hair and he was…hot.

'Earth to Author! Earth to Author!' thought Albus 'Focus please!'

Right. So protagonist hates him. What Albus hated the most about him was he was too good to be true. Ruthford had an annoying smug swept across his face and just looking at him made Albus realize that his day hadn't been really bad up until the moment Ruthford had walked in. 'Blimey, I hate that guy!' thought Albus and, as if they could hear Albus bitching about Ruthford internally, Luke and Randy nodded and shared a mutual look of hatred with Albus.

The above routine of actions lasted for about -eh- two seconds. But, it felt like a millennia to Albus. Albus rolled his eyes.

"Why the hell is he walking in slow motion?" questioned Albus to Luke and Randy, who had their arms crossed against their chest, defensively.

"He's not," replied Jannet, who had her gaze fixed at Ruthford "It jut seems like he is, because….." she broke off as Ruthford got nearer and she sighed.

Audorie sat next to her, boring her stare into Ruthford. She smiled gracefully. She gestured Ruthford to take a seat next to her. Albus was fine until Ruthford actually did take a seat next to her.

"So," he spoke with utter depth. This made Jannet emanate a nonsensical sound. Ruthford was lucky that it never reached him. Unfortunately, the other three guys were not that lucky enough. All three face-palmed themselves.

Ruthford continued "Are we still on for Wednesday?"

"Definitely. Provided you actually study this time" replied Audorie with a cheeky grin.

"I will not lie," Ruthford started his defense in a direct manner "You are more of a distraction than a tutor." Audorie rolled her eyes, still smiling. "If I had to study sweetheart, I would do it myself." Audorie, surprisingly, remained indifferent. With that, Ruthford winked and left. Audorie's eyes never left him until he was out of sight.

Jannet heaved a breath and said "Wow. I feel breathless."

Audorie loosened her composure and turned to Jannet smiling broadly. They talked in an extremely fast pace in an incomprehensible language and were sounding like wild raccoons. The three guys had stood up, feeling out of place, refusing to sit next to the source of commotion in the otherwise quiet, Common Room.

"Which part of that was endearing?" questioned Albus.

Jannet's head snapped to her right and her eyes turned to slits and voice turned mysteriously dark. "Every bit of it was."

Randy stepped in and said "He said and I quote, 'If I had to study sweetheart, I would do it myself.'"

"You had to say 'sweetheart' didn't you?" Albus mocked Randy.

Randy continued, addressing the girls "Don't you think what he was implying was not insulting?"

Audorie rolled her eyes and spoke up "What was he implying exactly?" Her tone dared Randy to proceed further. Sadly for her, Randy was not the one to take an underlying hint.

"He was implying that he would rather study alone than study with you."

"He was implying that if he had something to do as worthless as studying then he would do it alone and hence save Audorie the trouble." said Jannet defensively.

"Ugh!" exclaimed Luke in frustration, "You say potato and I say potahto, OK?"

Randy and Jannet shrugged it away, still not satisfied with the case they could present.

"What was the flirting about?" questioned Albus.

"There was no flirting." stated Audorie.

"Oh please," Albus raised his hand in the 'talk to the hand' manner and sat down next to Audorie. "There was direct flirting. I would be an idiot if I'd think that I am the only person you wore that skirt for?" said Ablus, hopefully. Jannet sniggered.

"You would be an idiot if you thought I wore it for you at all." Audorie replied with her head held high.

"Damn" cursed Albus as he stomped the table with his fist as a farce, burying his face in the table, lightheartedly smiling. Audorie took her chance and ruffled his hair with all her might. Albus hated it. His huge green eyes looked up, head still low and he caught how smug and cute Audorie was looking and all the irritation faded away. Her elbow was propped on her thigh and her chin was resting on the hand. Her brown eyes shone mischievously bright. If Albus had to choose between a day old puppy and Audorie then he would choose her because she was so much like an adorable puppy, with round brown eyes, a snug face and her huge tempting lips, but only better. Albus straightened up and cocked his head. "You think that's funny?" Audorie, Jannet, Randy and Luke all nodded in unison. "You should ask me, the person who spends forty-five minutes at least, everyday just to tame my hair," complained Albus, now running his hands through it.

"That is the fun in it," teased Audorie with her tongue out. That made Albus chuckle. 'What a kid,' he thought.

"What are you complaining about?" said Luke "Forty-five minutes and it still looks terrible."

"It does look better than what it looks like when I wake up," retorted Albus.

"James' hair always looks way better. Even though you guys have the same hair," said a voice behind Albus. Everyone turned to see who it was. "He had always been the smarter one."

"As much as I like you grading me as a brother, what are you here for?" asked Albus.

"I did not grade you!" exclaimed Lily in horror. "I am shocked you would accuse me so wrongly. And by the way, it would be a 'C'"

Albus rolled his eyes from behind the armchair while his friends sniggered at the usual exchange of greetings between the two siblings. "Your point?" questioned Albus, blatantly.

"Oh!" she realized her motive and made her way to the front of Albus' armchair. She placed a huge stack of books onto Albus' lap. "I believe that this is yours."

"Not unless my name is Lily Luna Potter and I am little and squirmy," mocked Albus and attempted to push it towards Lily. She did not let him.

"Very funny. That just earned you another one," with that she summoned another book. "This is my homework and assignments for the week." Albus did not remember having that much homework in third year. "Do it." She folded her arms. 'She looks frighteningly like mum,' thought Albus.

"Why should I? Do you want me to write mum and tell her that you've gone bonkers?" he asked.

"Not unless you want me to write to mum and tell her what James and you did with the letter."

Albus' eyes bulged out in horror and shock. All he could think was 'Dealing with another Ginny Weasley, am I? I think I'd rather die.'

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please review, it will make my day. If I suck at this, how will I stop unless you tell me? I promise to update at least twice a week, I promise.**

 **My friends have been reading it since ages and I would like to thank them for their love and support:**

 **Thank you V.S, A.T, V.K, P.J, A.B, and M.L for making this happen, I love you for being my betas and for giving me ideas.**


	2. We should get a life

**A/N:**

 **Review Replies: -**

 **PadfootHermione27: You love it? I love you:D. Thank you so much for being my first reviewer. I have so much stuff planned, it will not disappoint you. Stay tuned!**

 **gracefish21: Thank you so much for your kind review! You made my day!**

 **listeninggame: Oh God! You have know idea how much this means to me** **. I have worked on my punctuation. I hope you see the difference. I totally get what you said about James sounding like a talk show host. I will try avoiding being direct. Tysm!**

 **I would like to thank fellow author listeninggame for motivating me throughout and agreeing to give my story some time.**

 **This chapter is just filler but, I hope you like it. This chapter will disclose a few things about the letter but, it will take quite a while for the whole thing to unravel. In case it was not clear in the last chapter, Lily, Albus and James are in 3** **rd** **, 5** **th** **and 7** **th** **year respectively.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter.**

 **CHAPTER 2:**

" **We should get a life."**

"I don't know what you are talking about," whispered Albus in denial.

"You just screamed 'No!' for about three minutes," Lily argued with her arms folded against her chest. Luke and Randy nodded earnestly, behind Albus.

"That was because," started Albus in a low voice and he finished in an even lower, murmured sound.

"Why are you whispering? Do you not want anyone to hear us?" her blue round eyes bore into his green ones. She stepped forward and even though her head only reached Albus' shoulder, it was intimidating. Albus gulped his fear, thinking, 'I shouldn't be scared of my little sister, right?'

"I am not whispering, this is how I talk," whispered Albus.

"Yeah. So de we," joined Luke.

"Maybe you're going deaf," suggested Randy, whispering, while Audorie and Jannet shared looks of amusement.

"Going deaf?" repeated Lily. The group nodded. "How about we test that, huh?"

Before anyone could realize what was happening, Lily had screamed "Incendio!" with her wand pointed towards Albus' Charms textbook which Audorie had been using for her assignment. The book lit up in wild, dancing blue flames. The group stood open-mouthed and speechless. You could hear the pages being reduced to ashes. The pages wrinkled up and were scorched before Albus could say:

"STOP IT! NO! NO! NO! NO!" He jumped on his toes, panic-stricken.

Lily flicked her wand and the flames stopped. The book lied there as good as new. Albus reached towards it slowly. He checked the book, page by page.

"I can hear you scream like a girl perfectly fine," stated Lily.

"That sounds likemy kind of a girl," admired Audorie.

The group, except Albus stood still, comprending what had just occurred.

"How- how- how did you do that?" Albus asked Lily while eyeing the book. "It is not even scorched one bit."

"Oh, mum taught that to me," Lily replied while shrugging as if it were no big deal. "Now, how early could you finish this? I have a few more stacks left to go," she said pointing at the stack of homework she had given him earlier.

"Why would she do that?" questioned Albus with a horrified look on his face and on the verge of tears.

"I just asked her and she told me."

"How can she teach you, you of all people, such a thing and then continue to call you "Little Princess"?"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake! I will not be stealing your crown for years to come," she said and smiled bitterly.

Albus gave her the stink eye.

"Considering that you know what happened," said Albus apprehensively, "How do you know?"

"I heard you tell your friends about it in your dormitory. I was standing outside," she said and gave Albus her "I am the cutest little sister" smile.

"But, I never told them the entire thing. So, technically you don't know," Albus realized and grinned at this.

"I do." His grin faded away. "After you escorted James out of your dormitory-"

"I didn't, I threw him out," corrected Albus.

"Yeah, sure you did," smirked Lily. She continued, "Now, I asked my sweet elder brother what was on both my siblings' minds? What is it that disturbs my intellectual brothers? And he told me."

Albus blushed, "I am not intellectual." He added a second later, "OK, maybe a little."

"I love how she turns adorable from evil in just seconds," Luke whispered to Randy, impressed.

"Taking notes are you?" mocked Jannet while Randy and Audorie sniggered.

"Wait, this feels like it has happened before," said Albus to himself. He rounded his eyes at Lily and continued, "All the time. You flatter me all the time."

Lily shrugged in response and said, "You always fall for it."

"Damn. Now, this can only mean two things," he said, "Did you bribe James?"

"No."

"Did you blackmail James?"

"Yes. Wow, you guessed it right. I didn't know you had that in you," said Lily as she smiled brightly.

Albus blushed, "Yeah well, I- STOP FLATTERING ME!" He raised his index finger in protest.

Lily stepped back with her hands above her head in her defense.

"Now, how much did he tell you?" said Albus.

"All of it," Lily replied with certainty.

"You know, James can play tricks too."

"Yes, but he wouldn't dare do tricks when his broomstick is on the line."

"Damn. Wait, I thought that he had his broomstick chained up in her dormitory with security spells."

"He does. Which was why I blackmailed him with another broomstick," she said and smirked.

"Another? How can- Oh no," he said as comprehension dawned.

"Oh yes. I hid a random broomstick behind me and put a charm on it so that nobody could summon it, then I casted a spell between us so that he couldn't come closer than three foot."

That peaked Albus' curiosity. Yes, James was a knucklehead but, Albus knew that he was talented wizard. Albus knew that James could have easily known the counter-spells to all of Lily's charms. Lily, no matter how good at Charms, was only a third year and being in seventh year, James could have easily messed with Lily's plan. 'Why didn't he?' was all Ablus could think. He came back to his senses and asked:

"What did James tell you?" Albus pulled Lily away from the group to a secluded corner of the Common Room.

"He told me that Uncle Neville was writing to Dad because you were not paying attention in class and you screwed up the Herbology test,"

"I was sleep deprived," protested Albus. Lily continued, nonetheless:

"He told me that you, being the stuck up, perfect son you are-"

"Not fair!"

"-were panicking and James came to your rescue. He told you that he could help you get rid of it and so he did help you."

"And?" asked Albus, hoping Lily would not know any further. Even if she did know something Albus was curious because he himself did not know how James had screwed up. It had seemed so foolproof back then, because James is a pro at such things. He wanted to know how everything looked from James' point of view.

"And he screwed up." So, she did know. "There were some complications and it all ended with you two sending McGonagall a love letter, signed by Uncle Neville." Lily sniggered and said, "It sounds even more pathetic out loud."

"Yeah," agreed Albus while he felt relieved that Lily did not know any more than he did.

"Do the homework by this Friday. I'll have more."

"Wait, why were you spying outside my dormitory?"

Lily had already skipped away to her group of friends and was gossiping vivaciously by the time Albus had finished his question.

(Next Morning)

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

"This. Behaving like we love each other."

"We don't love each other?"

James gave Albus a skeptical look.

Albus gave in, "Fine. I am sitting next to you because I have to talk about something."

"In front of the entire school, at breakfast in the Great Hall? Could you be less discreet?" James asked Albus.

"I have classes after this and tons of homework to complete. Most of which is not mine and this is all because of you."

James sighed. "Lily?" he asked in an exasperated tone.

"Yes. May I ask you why you told her everything?"

James bit his lip before answering, "My broomstick was on the line."

"No, it was not yours."

"I couldn't check, ok? She had it charmed."

"Are you really expecting me to believe that?"

James pursed his lips.

"James," said Albus in a soft voice. James turned to look into Albus' light gaze. Albus continued, "As much as I want to punch you in your guts, I want to know what happened. You weren't Prefect for nothing last year. You obviously know how counter-attack anything Lily throws towards you."

"I panicked, OK? I need that broomstick more than anything!"

"What do you think is scarier, something happening to your broomstick and you not playing Quidditch for a lifetime or Mum getting angry?"

James reconsidered for a minute and said, "You have a point."

"Then, why did you tell Lily!" screamed Albus.

"I told you, I did not think this through! I am an idiot, OK?" James played with the beans on his plate with a sour expression.

"Something you are not telling me?"

'Her. I am not telling you about her!' thought James. He wanted to scream it. He wanted to tell Albus that he and Lily had it all figured wrong. But, he could not tell them. He could not tell anyone. It was eating him on the inside.

"Albus, yes I dropped you on your head when you were one year old but, why are you showing the effects now?"

"She is making me do a week worth of homework! I have a right to know."

James could see the only way out of this conversation: avoiding it.

"I got some too."

"We never got that much homework and assignments back in third year."

"It's not all hers," James took a bite of his pumpkin pie and continued, "I heard from one of my sources that she is charging about three Galleons per assignment. She has promised anyone who is willing to pay, to complete their assignment. All of her batch mates are paying her. She has been changing the names to 'Lily Luna Potter' and blackmailing us to do it."

Albus sat silent for some time, letting the information sink in. Finally he said, "You have sources? Do you think you could get me some dirt on Ruthford Brown?"

"Is it just me or do you have the attention span of a goldfish?"

"Um…"

"I just told you that our sweet little sister has become depraved and that is what you got from that? That I have sources? Also, your dreams are so small. Ruthford Brown, seriously?"

Albus shrugged. "I already knew the first fact. At least she is gaining some profit out of her evilness."

"Are you serious?" asked James as he put down his fork, frowning. "Three Galleons, that's it. People paid me five Galleons at my time."

Albus squinted at James and said, "I am the most decent member of my family. Wow."

James chuckled and said, "The level of decency in our family must be really low."

"Haha," Albus mocked. "Hey, guess what mum taught Lily?"

James' head spun towards Albus and he said, "That burning trick?"

"YES! She did that to you too?"

"Yeah. She did it to my diary," said James and stopped mid-way while lifting his fork to his mouth when he realized what he had just said.

"You have a diary?" James did not look at Albus but, he could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's a journal."

"You could have said yes and it would've been less amusing!" Albus laughed for some while until James said:

"You sleep with your blankey."

They shared a mutual look of disgust and then continued eating.

"So, Lily likes fire," said Albus, glad that the topic had changed.

"Yeah, who would've guessed?" mocked James.

"Are you sure she is not just the Dark Lord back to life?" asked Albus as he twirled his fork round his fingers.

"No," replied James with a bite pumpernickel in his mouth. "I did some research and turns out, when evil people come back to life they lose their nose."

Albus raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"True story," said James.

They continued eating. "Why can't she just be like any normal girl and have a crush on some really popular guy?" whined James.

"Yeah! Why can't her biggest missions be kissing her crush in front of the entire school in the Great Hall?"

"Yes!" exclaimed James, "That would be so much easier to deal with."

Both of them sighed, looking into the oblivion.

"We're both horrible brothers."

"Yes, we are," agreed James and continued eating.

"I do miss the times when she wore diapers."

"Yes, she couldn't talk," James said with a smirk on his face, "Good times."

"We can still dethrone her!"

"We can," agreed James, nodding continuously.

"We should."

After five minutes of silence, James spoke up turning to Albus:

"We should get a life."

"Agreed."

With that they got up and set to opposite directions.

 **A/N: I hope you liked it. Thank you for reading! There will be more action in the next chapter, I promise!**

 **Next Chapter: Albus might be in some serious dilemma and it is just soo morally wrong!**


	3. Reading the already read

**REVIEW REPLIES:**

 **gracefish21: I have a little different plans for Scorpious and lily. I hope you'll like them too. My Lily is a little badass. And my Scorpious is an idiot, but he's cute. I plan to use a lot of his personality from Cursed Child. I hope you'll love them! Have a good day :)**

 **Rosie Wazlib: Can I just start off by saying how much I love your username? It's super cute. I see what you did there. As for the siblings, you are going to enjoy this fic, it's all about sibling rivalry and their unseemly love for each other. I personally like writing family more than romance but that might actually be cuz I'm bad at romance... Anyway, you be the judge of that. Enjoy the chapter and the rest of your day :)**

 **I'm sorry that I've posted this late. There's just so much going on in my life, it was depressing. Somebody recently told me that the best thing about me is my spirit and energy and that I should never lose it. I've been focusing more on that and I'm back to complete what I had started. Thank you for all the reviews I've had this far. They mean the world to me! I love you all. The point of view is frequently changed by the end of this chapter. Please note that "Au POV" is for Audorie's POV and "Al POV" is for Albus' POV.**

 **DISCLAIMER: THE WORLD OF HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO JOANNE KATHERINE ROWLING AND I DO NOT OWN ANY PART OF IT. I ONLY OWN MY CHARACTERS.**

 _ **CHAPTER 3:-**_

 _ **"READING THE ALREADY READ"**_

"Aren't you going to go?" asked Albus to Audorie when he came down the stairs from his dormitory to the Common Room. He found her sitting on an armchair by the window, probably working on one of her assignments. When he reached closer, he realized that she was working on one of her poems. Audorie was a good writer with a critical and amorous choice of words. It was November 2nd and also the first trip to Hogsmeade for the month. It had been a week since Albus and James had posted the letter and he was somewhat eased into being oblivious to any forthcoming repercussions. He just could not think about the letter anymore and was doing everything he could to take his mind off it, hence the trip he was ready to go to.

"No, I feel like writing today," replied Audorie while shrugging warily.

That sounded really bad to Albus….He looked around the Common Room. Everyone had left, except Albus who had to wait for just Randy and Luke to come downstairs. He had enough time to talk to Audorie and uplift her mood. He sat down in an armchair next to her.

"Audorie, what's going on?" he asked and when she refused to reply, he added, "Don't you have a date with Ruthford?" As soon as Albus said it, he regretted doing so, because if she had forgotten about her date then Albus wanted to be the last one to remind her and to suggest that he was fine with Audorie and Ruthford dating.

Audorie gave in and replied, sighing, "Apparently," her hazel brown eyes looked directly into his deep green ones as she said, "he had a thing." Albus looked away slowly as he just could not contain himself. He was filled with remorse, anger and surprising confusion. He felt remorse and anger because he never wanted Audorie to get stood up. He felt confusion because….deep down he wanted Audorie to get stood up? He frowned at the very thought of it. How could he be relieved?

"Auds, that's just horrible. You can't let him-"

"Albus, please," she held up her hand in her defense, "That is my lookout. You don't have to be so negative about my relationships." She flipped through her parchments hurriedly, avoiding Albus' gaze. Albus rested his elbow on the arm of Audorie's chair and his chin lay on his hand as he gazed at her.

"I am not always negative about your relationships!"

Audorie looked up and turned to Albus to shift her complete focus. "Jerry McGuire, back in fourth year you burnt his Potions assignment. We all know it is not like you to burn assignments." She raised her right eyebrow as if challenging him to argue. She did not look at him for long, since their faces were inches away whenever she turned towards him.

Albus' mouth closed as soon as it had opened but he managed to get out a, "I slipped," as a defense. Albus was hardly aware of how close they were.

Audorie snorted and said, "Yeah, right. You slipped one-twenty degrees to your left."

"I am flexible!"

His arguments were deemed invalid when Audorie sniggered and returned her attention to her poem.

"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" Audorie shook her head. Albus' elbow still on the arm of her chair and his face was still next to hers. "You don't want to have chocolates and candies at Honeydukes?" Audorie shook her head. "You sure you don't want to see Luke try to pick up girls with his ridiculous pick-up lines?" Albus asked with a pout, "You don't want to miss that!"

Audorie chuckled and said, "As much as I would love to see Luke make an ass out of himself and Randy apologizing to all those poor girls on Luke's behalf, I really don't feel like leaving the Common Room."

Albus gazed at Audorie with soft eyes for a while, suspiciously scanning her every inch as if taking her in. It took a while until she was looking back at him too although not with the same intensity. Her gaze dropped frequently but, she could still feel his eyes boring into her. She rolled her eyes occasionally. When their eyes met, Albus gave her half a smile and leaned in, towards her armchair, until the point that his mouth was right next to her right ear. He could hear her heartbeat beating very fast. He smiled softly, became red in the face and said, "Not even for me?" There was a pause. It ended with Audorie placing her hands on Albus' shoulders. Albus started to shrink slightly at her touch. It was a ticklish feeling. Albus wondered how it was possible for somebody to have that effect and control on him. He found it uncanny yet he was pleased that only Audorie could manage to do so. That lasted until Audorie's grip became firm and she had pushed him away and managed to place Albus' bottoms back on his seat. She was smirking.

"Never for you."

Albus leaned into his armchair, finding it hard to contain his disappointment, still grinning like an idiot. Now, it was Audorie's turn to stare and she was imitating Albus' previous gaze, bulging her eyes out, tilting her head and smiling from one ear to the other. That earned a chuckle from Albus. He sat up straight when a voice from behind the two of them piped up, "Well, if you don't want to go to Hogsmeade then maybe Hogsmeade can come to you!"

The smile from Audorie's face melted away and she strutted, "No-I-don't-why-you-"

Before she could form a comprehensible sentence, six bottles of Butterbeer had already landed on the centre table with a thud. Luke announced, while pocketing his wand and walking down the stairs into the Common room with Randy following, "Courtesy of Luke Owen and Randy Taylor. 'We can smuggle anything.' "

Luke sang the last bit and Randy joined in. They jumped the last four stairs and strode over to Audorie and Albus. Randy and Luke squatted on either side of the centre table and both held a Butterbeer in their hand.

"It's better than anything you've every tried!" exclaimed Luke with gleam in his marble-like black eyes.

"Tasting like never before!" Randy piped up, his freckled face turned even redder with the rush of adrenaline.

"I am not drinking this," Audorie spoke over the hubbub.

She was merely ignored.

"It tastes like you added Whiskey to fire!" said Luke, conjuring blue wisps of light from his wand for extra effect.

"It tastes like the fire to the Whiskey!" protested Randy shaking off the blue wisps of light Luke had conjured over Randy's face which had starting to form a long beard.

"I get it. It's just like Firewhisky," said Audorie.

The blue wisps of light disappeared into thin air as Luke and Randy took their turns to dramatically gasp, horrified.

"It is way more than that," admitted Albus, who had been watching the charade amusingly until now.

"You've tried it?"

"I opened the door of the dorm for them at 2 am when they had finished smuggling this. Got one as a reward." Albus raised his head high, proud.

"And mind you," said Luke, "It's not just like Firewhisky! Tell her Randy."

"Yeah." Randy nodded and said, "It is Firewhisky."

Audorie gasped, startled.

"Not entirely though," Luke spoke up immediately after Audorie's sudden reaction. "There is this bar at the far end of the village which sells this. It is just one fourth Firewhisky and three-fouth Butterbeer."

"Hey, it's Butterwhisky!" Albus piped up. Luke and Randy high-fived him.

"Yes," said Randy and continued with a low voice"It is Butterwhisky….." he took a long pause "….customized."

"Excuse me?" said Audorie cringing her nose and frowning at the idea. "Did you just say that it is customised Butterwhiskey?"

"Yup"

"A teenager has his needs, Audorie," said Luke, holding up a finger in his defense.

"No way in hell I am drinking this."

"It's just a few extra ingredients!" protested Randy. "They will make you less drunk than you would be if you'd drink it unaltered."

Just when Audorie was starting to consider it, Luke spoke up, "Or would it make you drunker? Less drunk or drunker?" he asked Randy.

Luke and Randy shared a look of confusion and pondered over it until Luke said "Can't seem to remember." Luke and Randy shrugged away the trouble.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Jannet strode over from the Fat Lady's portrait hole to Luke as soon as she could. Her white blonde curls were tied into a messy bun and she was wearing a flowy white top with dark-blue jeggings and red heels. Jannet was always overdressed. Albus and Randy face-palmed themselves and chuckled at how ridiculous she was being but then, it was an awful habit they had all tried to help her get rid of.

"You have a date," said Jannet as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Oi, I broke up with Frieda!" Luke replied.

"No you git!" Jannet slapped him at the back of his head. "With Daphne! You have a date with Daphne!"

As soon as she spelled it out for him, Luke looked flabbergasted. "Merlin, I completely forgot about that!"

"How convenient," Jannet mocked, "She has been giving me a headache!" Jannet plopped down on an armchair next to Audorie, facing Randy and Luke.

"She has been waiting for you for about half and hour! She was convincing herself that you're probably putting a lot of effort to get ready for her and then she was blabbering about how she has prepared herself for you and is ready to take your relationship on a next level and she kept asking me for advice and if she should let you take over. She asked me how comfortable you were with exposure!" Jannet let out an animal-like sound while Luke sat by the centre table, amused at the possibility of what Daphne had actually suggested. She was red in the face. "God, I hate your type."

"I don't have a type…..Or I just don't do purposely." Luke shrugged.

"You definitely have a type!" Jannet exclaimed. "It is 'Desperate and low self-esteemed' sluts"

"Oh…I guess I do have a type," concluded Luke. Everybody nodded amusingly.

"I always have to handle them. Can you just go already?" whined Jannet, exasperated.

"Now?"

"Yes, you dunderhead!"

"But, I am not wearing the proper date attire."

"She wouldn't care less if you don't even wear any attire. In fact," Jannet gave it a thought and continued, "I think she would absolutely love that."

"What about my hair?"

"Stop being such a girl for once!"

"Says the bimbo who takes about an hour and a half every morning just to shower and look 'presentable'" Luke said while rolling her eyes.

"How come you know that?" asked Randy while Albus and Audorie sat with the same question in their minds and frowning deeply and the sudden revelation.

They were merely ignored.

"That is because I have hair that goes down till my waist. You on the other hand, are comparatively bald!"

"Did you just call me bald?!"

"Yes, I called you bald. You, with your inches long hair."

"That is actually a good theory," Audorie murmured her agreement to Jannet. Jannet grinned in return.

"Are you going then?" Randy asked Luke.

"I guess I'll have to," he replied in melancholy and then addressed Jannet "How about you ask her to wait a little longer." He gave her a hopeful smile.

"How about," Jannet pondered over it a little until she replied with a grimace "I kill the slut?"

Luke frowned and answered, "Wow, you go suicidal really fast."

Jannet leaned over and, before Luke could comprehend what was going on, she caught him by his right ear and twisted it, causing Luke to shriek like a girl. She put on an effortless smile and looked down at Luke being tortured and shouting his bits of apologies. She felt complete bliss and peace. Luke crippled to the ground like an autumn leaf. Audorie and Randy were stifling their laughs when Albus spoke up, grinning widely, "Let go off him, Jannet. Think about how annoying it would be to drag him to the Hospital Wing and to explain to Madam Pomfrey how we managed to kill him with an ear injury."

"Well said." Jannet let Luke's ear go and sat down by his armchair with a thud.

"Albus!" Audorie scolded. "I was finally enjoying my day!" They all sniggered.

Luke got up the floor with much difficulty and narrowed his eyes at his best friends. He said in a hoarse voice "Laugh all you want. Someday, when she ties your leg to her broomstick and flies a billion times around the pitch, then I will be the one to laugh!"

That just made the four laugh even harder, much to Luke's dismay.

"I'd rather go to the stupid date," Luke grumbled under his breath and left the Common Room.

When their laughter finally died down Jannet spoke up "Say Randy, does it bother you and crush your heart into a million of pieces that your boyfriend deserted you?"

"No…?" he questioned instead of replying.

"Well then you are one lucky fellow," she smiled at Randy and continued "We can go shopping by the new accessory shop around the corner, I've heard they have great bracelets, we can go to Honeydukes for you, we can have those cute pedicures where the little fishes nibble at your feet, when you get hungry then we can stop by the 'All you can eat' place, my treat, and maybe we can stop by the Wheezes and buy you enough stuff to prank Luke on my behalf." She flashed him a full fledged smile.

Randy squinted at her and said "That sounds disgusting."

"The part where you prank Luke on my behalf?"

"No," he shook his head. "All of it."

Albus and Audorie nodded in agreement.

Jannet pouted, remorseful. "But," Randy added earnestly, "I bet you can make it equally fun." He shrugged half-heartedly. Jannet lightened up and said "Ever the gentlemen, Randy Taylor." Randy only grinned In reply and took a small bow.

He locked his elbow with hers and she started to pull him towards Fat Lady's portrait hole when he stopped to ask Albus and Audorie, "Any of you ready to come yet?"

Albus looked at Audorie, who did not seem very eager to get off the couch and replied, "We decide to stay, thanks."

"You should go!" Audorie gave him a shove by the shoulder. "Don't let me keep you tied down."

"You'll be alone," Albus protested.

"Yeah," Jannet joined in, "C'mon to the fun side everybody! We have pedicures, jewellery shopping, the Wheezes, massages, 'All you can eat'–"

"Wait, massages? Nobody said anything about massages," Randy protested and blinked furiously at Jannet.

Jannet sported puppy dog eyes at him and Randy immediately loosened up and held his hands up in surrender with half a smile on his lips. "You're so gonna make me regret this." Jannet squealed in excitement. Randy turned his attention towards Audorie.

"He's right, Audorie," Randy agreed and gave her a sympathetic nod. "You shouldn't be left alone right now. It's depressing. Now, I don't want my best friends to be depressed, all right?"

"I won't be depressed!" Audorie replied, folding her arms against her chest defensively."I'll be reading..." her eyes scrambled across the room until they landed on the book, 'Stranger by day'. She grasped it and continued, "I'll be reading this. It's my favorite! And then I'll be absolutely fine!"

"Really? How many Butterwhiskys until then?" Randy couldn't help the smug off his face when he said this. Audorie sent him an exasperated sigh after which Albus replied "You know, I can keep count." He held out a bottle for her and took one himself. He raised his eyebrows playfully. Audorie responded with the same exasperated sigh she had sent Randy.

"What the hell is Butterwhisky?" asked Jannet, innocently. Her friends knew better than to trust her inoculate tone because being familiar with Jannet made them hear it seasoned with traces of craving and lust. "Nothing," Randy replied at once, trying to avoid eye contact and urging Albus and Audorie to continue without hindrance.

"We still don't know if the customisation will make us less drunk or drunker than normal Butterwhisky would," Audorie protested.

Albus narrowed his eyes, "I thought Audorie Holt was the 'I have control' one. Aren't you always sober no matter the content?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. It is you I'm worried about." She flashed him a wide, mocking smile.

He scoffed, "Ya, right. At least I didn't slur through the 'Happy Birthday' song last year at everyone's birthday party. Also," Albus tapped his chin and gave a thought, "you probably sang it thrice after our successful Quidditch matches."

"I denounce all of those rumours."

"I was there!" Randy protested, "You puked on my shoes."

Audorie grimaced at the memory.

"Audorie, you couldn't even read the time right."

That was when Albus had a great idea. "You know Auds, I bet you can't read this book without slurring while drunk." He held up 'Stranger by day' and threw Audorie a challenging look. Audorie snorted, "Good try Potter. I'm still not letting u stay."

"Basically, I'm not really looking out for you or something, I have an ulterior motive." Audorie raised her eyebrows. "I've never read this myself. Always thought the idea of this book was pretty much pathetic." Albus shrugged like he could not care less.

"Excuse me?" Audorie got off the armchair and stared at Albus, enraged. "Pathetic? How could you think that this brilliant masterpiece is pathetic?" Albus shrugged in response, which only seemed to madden and tip off Audorie even more. "Hell, you're not going anywhere until you finish this BLOODY-ALLURING-PIECE-OF-ART!" The last bit seemed to frighten Luke and Jannet, due to which they tip-toed out of the Common Room after sharing a knowing look with Albus. Audorie glared at Albus until he refocused his attention towards the book.

"But wasn't this all about you slurring? I challenged you about reading this without slurring while drunk. So basically, you are reading for me!" Albus drew up to his full height with smug across his face.

Audorie gave Albus the stink eye and said, with utmost resent "Forgotten the alphabet, Potter?" She spat out the name. "Need I teach it to you all over again?"

'She looks so cute when she's angry,' thought Albus. He grinned, which only seemed to get on Audorie's nerves. He replied with such vivacity,

"If you're teaching then yes." That made the corner of her mouth to lift up. Though,she wasn't really keen to show it. A roll of parchment was immediately sent flying and it hit Albus in the face.

"I'm just lightening you up. Do you like me lightening you up?" Albus sat next to Audorie on the couch and wriggled his eyebrows.

Audorie sighed in reply, "Well, if it gives meaning to the life of a layman like you then, OK."

Albus narrowed his eyes, "Getting wittier by day are we?"

"Nope, just me. I'm like fine wine," she smiled dreamily.

"A serving of fruit appetizing to both mind and body?" He gave her a mischievous look and she smacked him upside his head in return.

"I meant finer with age." She flipped through the pages of the novel while rolling her eyes. Albus pushed a bottle of Butterwhisky between her and the novel, "Bottoms up," he said. Within seconds she had chugged down a large gulp of Butterwhisky effortlessly while never breaking her glare from Albus, who was highly impressed. He then followed suit.

She started off strong and with a bold voice of a demanding colonel but Albus could make out the dizziness in her eyes and the occasional pouting whenever she would lose the line where she had left off. They were now sitting on the long sofa where they had collapsed after chasing each other around the Common Room which had culminated from a serious arguement over Bowtruckles.

Ruthford had hurt her way more than she would ever accept to her friends. Especially to Albus. Audorie had a good feeling that he could sense it on her. They were sitting too close for her drunk self to contemplate. He was leaning into her shoulders to get a good look at the novel. His warm breath hit her clavicles.

She nagged herself to concentrate on reading.

He had always been her rock. Him sitting this close made her recall all those times in second year when he'd enveloped her torso in a warm embrace during hard times. He was her best friend and her companion. She paused reading and turned, only to find him already looking at her. The novel lay forgotten on her lap.

"What?" she raised her left eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't you tell me what actually happened?"

"Regarding what?"

"Ruthford," he examined her while she shifted sheepishly to face him.

"Are you still thinking about that?" she scorned.

"I've completely let it fly into the abyss! Wait, were you not listening to me read?" She looked distressed.

" 'Candace had done her best to shake away the vile and battered feeling of abandonment. She had done her best to get rid of the ridiculously depraving incentives people threw at her. She had done her best to be sedentary but she soon realised that it only made her obsolete. She had done much harm to herself than good. All these feelings bottled up, made her angrier at herself. That was why she stood here, back to square one. To her Ralph. To her only ray of hope. Begging to take her in. "I've missed you. I don't want to hurt you ever again." A drop of tear trickled down her face. "Don't cry, then. That hurts me," he replied, wiping her cheeks, embracing her and basking in all her beauty and warmth.' " Albus quoted 'Stranger by day', the one novel Lily, Rose and Louis always begged Albus to read at bedtime.

Audorie couldn't take her eyes off him.

"Oh, I heard you perfectly well," he smiled. His stare searched for something on her face. His eyes landed on her's and he said, concerned "I'm just worried that you're not doing exactly what you want."

 **(Au POV)** Audorie realised she had been staring and her eyes averted immediately. She gulped down her fears and spoke up "There's nothing else I'd rather want."

"Are you quite sure? Nothing?" he questioned her with an assertive, yet gentle voice. She could sense that he was begging her to reconsider. It befuddled her. What could he mean? She looked up, yet again, at his heart shaped face, to find answers.

 **(Al POV)** He'd already leaned in to whisper something but now that they were facing each other, all he could do was stare into her blazing brown eyes.

 **(Au POV)** There it was again. His warm breath. It made her run out of her's. She was extremely aware of his body. His lean figure hung above her comparatively smaller one. Suddenly, Butterwhiskey was not the only thing enrapturing her insides. "I might want different things," she concluded while Albus leered at her moving lips the entire time.

"You sure?" he confirmed. On receiving an affirmative response, he leaned deeper, closing the distance between them. Despite her eyes being closed, her lips found their way onto his as if something were wooing them there.

A soft and gentle peck lasting about three seconds when Albus pulled away.

 **(Al POV** )'This is wrong,' Albus thought. 'But it's good,' something inside him protested. 'How can something be wrong and good at the same time?' questioned a third voice from within Albus. But, all Albus knew on the outside was to live in the moment and to drink in her aura and all that she stood for. Her beautiful big brown eyes dilated further, bewildered. All Albus could do was marvel at the scalding heat which had impregnated within him just by a cursory yet gentle touch.

 **(AU POV)** It was his heaving chest which caught her attention this time. The idea that she had made him this restless by momentarily sharing an intimate touch let her forgive herself for being immensely vulnerable at many levels. Yet she felt disgraceful. He was still in the moment while Audorie contemplated the havoc she had created. Her eyeballs danced with worry. Her body tensed and in that moment of utter panic, all Albus wanted to do was hold her tight and pacify her. He leaned in to oblige and she gulped down all her fears. Her eyes found his and just when he was about to wrap his arms tenderly around her, something hit his face.

Audorie was just as befuddled as he was. His eyes searched the room and they realised that the novel had flown from Audorie's lap into Rosa Crum's hands. Rosa, a bushy haired and viscious looking redhead, stood behind Albus with a scowl and said "Get your own copy Holt. Next time, spare mine."

She exited the Common Room only to leave behind two best friends wondering what had culminated.


	4. Don't storm away so soon

**A/N:–**

 **REVIEW REPLIES:**

 **kattttiiieee:** **and I hope that you're not lactose intolerant, because the second half of the word is- dary! Ah! Thank you so frigging much for appreciating the reference. I love you! I will not let you down, mister!**

 **She-who-loves-fanfiction: I cannot even begin to explain how happy your review made me. I was kind of stuck with the plot but I wrote it for readers like you. I understand your frustration and guess what? It's gonna get worse, sorry! But if you like the Albus and Audorie pair then you are going to love the next few chapters. Maybe...not this one...**

 **This chapter may not be as long or as funny as my other ones but it's very important. It's a filler where a lot of necessary shit happens. I hope you like it!**

 **DISCLAIMER: DESPITE MY VARIOUS CLAIMS, I HAVE BEEN DENIED ANY RIGHT TO THE FICTIONAL WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!**

* * *

 _ **CHAPTER 4:–**_

 ** _"DON'T STORM AWAY SO SOON"_**

It had been four days...

Four frigging days since Albus had faced Audorie. They had woken up the morning after their faux pas with their tongues tied and eyes averting each other. Albus had been completely unaware of the impeding consequences of alcohol even when James had fell asleep in the fireplace of the common room one night. Lily had deemed it unlucky since the fireplace was charmed not to catch fire while any living being was still in it. That made Jannet, a muggleborn, wonder how many people fall asleep in the fireplace on regular basis for it to be charmed so. "You wouldn't believe," Albus had replied.

Now, Albus was confident that what had escaladed was worse than any fireplace. He could not place his thoughts on his drunken resolve. Why did he do it? He had been asking himself ever since. He had risked everything. Audorie, as if having already fixed their stagnant comraderie, was dutifully avoiding Albus.

"Did you walk in on her changing?" Luke had asked one not-so-fine day after noticing the standoffish behaviour of Albus and Audorie towards each other.

"That's the only reason you could come up with?" Randy had narrowed his eyes.

"Happens surprisingly often with me." Luke had sighed before being assured by Albus about everything being normal between two of his best friends. Little did Albus know that his lie was soon turning into his reality.

* * *

Albus was sitting in the library, working on his Herbology assignment in melancholy when she sat right opposite him, leaning on the desk.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you. I had to clear my head first. I'd done such a thing to Ruthford." Audorie spoke as if she was letting out a secret which had been bothering her for years. Albus lay aside his books and said, finally relaxing his demeanor, " I'm so relieved you finally want to talk. I was really afraid."

"I needed space," she concluded discreetly. "Albus, what I did to Rutherford was horrible and I don't want to make things worse so–"

"Yeah, me neither! I don't want to lose my best mate," Albus placed his hand on hers before hastily pulling it away, realising that his body kept insinuating what his mind did not.

Audorie was drawing a blank and she awkwardly rose to her feet too before offering him a smile. "Your mate is here for as long as you want her to be." Albus could hear Jannet calling out for Audorie. So she left as soon as she had come. He had been glad for the closure, for his best friend and was conviced to drop his abstention from alcohol. That was until lunchtime.

* * *

"Albus, my man, my boy!" James caught the said boy by his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. Albus was just returning from his Defence Against the Dark Arts class when his friends had decided to abandon him the moment their eyes landed on James. Albus cursed inwardly. James, obviously not heeding to Albus' scowl, started whispering frantically with his eyes fixed on Albus'. "Al, my sources tell me that around twenty three owls have visited McGonagall's office this past week. She has sent out fifteen herself. Now that's a statistic which has scared the bloody daylights out of me." He looked tense. His eyes were sagging into the sockets and the spark within them had disappeared. His cheekbones were distinctly prominent. It looked as if he had not eaten properly in days. Even his hair was falling into place and failing to stick out in the various directions it usually did. Albus was worried for his dunderhead of a brother. He knew that if there was one thing James did not have then it was the fear of getting caught. Thus, it made Albus wonder what this was about.

"Your point?" Albus asked while still eyeing his brother closely.

"I have a gut feeling that we are gonna be in great trouble soon enough due to that stupid prank you pulled the other day–"

"I didn't–"

"–so obviously you are gonna have to take the blame and get it over with. Just the way you promised."

Albus was scandalized. He couldn't believe that James would expect him to do such a thing after everything they had gone through. His hands were balling into fists. "You know James, if it weren't for mum then I would've definitely punched you." Albus took a deep breath and replied to James' stupid statement, "I am not doing that."

"We had a deal Al," James' voice was firm now. His poker face grew darker by every minute, "you had promised that if anything goes wrong then you would take the blame." His hands around Albus' shoulders became stiff.

"I don't recall anything of that sort," Albus simply denied and shrugged away James' grip. He simply made his way towards the staircase. James eventually caught up with him.  
"So you are completely denying that we made a deal?"

"I am," Albus replied, not once turning to face James.

"I must say...I am proud of you." When Albus finally turned towards his brother he saw that he was grinning like an idiot. "I finally taught you a thing or two about being an ass."

This time Albus grinned in return. There was a few minutes of silence in which they climbed the stair in unison. After a while, Albus spoke up, "James, you're my brother. I can help you but only if you let me."

"This is the only way you can help me," James replied with his eyes avoiding Albus.

Albus stopped dead in his tracks, exasperated. "Well then, you are going to have to tell me what's actually going on with you and how you screwed up, otherwise I'm not helping you in any bloody way." He folded his arms and shot James a piercing glare.

"Oh you will, just wait." James turned on his heels and stormed away.

Albus sighed and continued his walk towards the common room. He couldn't believe the amount of problems he had landed himself in. Little did he know that fate had more in store for him.

* * *

He wanted to puke. He wanted to burn his eyes out. 'Did they fall into each other?' Albus wondered. 'Is this happening for real? Am I the only one gaping?' He sure was not the only one. After the origin of the spectacle decided to part ways, the common room returned to its usual commotion, only this time spiced up with gossip.

"Hey guys!" Audorie joined her group by the fireplace. Her face etched into a smile which innocently mocked Albus.

"Girl, you got some guts in you pulling off a stunt like that in the middle of the common room without informing me about it first!" Jannet cried out, pulling Audorie down to sit next to her. Luke and Randy were still gaping at her. And Albus kept his cool while staring suspiciously at her face.

"It all happened so fast!" Audorie complained. "I wanted to rush off and tell you but Ruthford had a better idea to make a public announcement." Her smile was still on but Albus could make out the sudden decrease in the intensity.

"So now you are officially dating him?" Luke finally dropped the question. Randy on the other hand was busy analysing the situation. His eyes frequently went from Albus to Audorie.

Audorie replied affirmative to Luke's question and Jannet squealed with excitement. She hugged Audorie and congratulated her before whispering something in her ears which made Audorie blush violently.

She then glanced at her other best friends. "Are you guys angry?"

Luke shrugged and replied "I guess if you're happy then I'm happy." He then proceeded to give her half a hug. Randy was still mute to make a comment.

Then Audorie looked at Albus and her eyes softened. Whether with pain or guilt, he could not tell. Why did they soften? He could not decide. All he could do was smirk. Smirk at his situation. Smirk at the confusion building within him. Smirk at her. When Audorie gave him a questioning look, he spoke up:

"Was this before you talked to me or after?" His voice sounded uninterested but his eyes betrayed all the effort he put in to do so.

"Why should it matter?" Audorie replied, enraged. She carried on, "Not everything has to be related to you, Albus." She could hardly meet his eyes while saying this.

Jannet and Luke were extremely confused now, whereas Randy was as still as a mouse, contemplating the situation.

"Perhaps, you are right," Albus shrugged, "but I think I know Audorie Holt enough to say that she would never, NEVER do such a thing." He was raising his voice now, attracting few worried glances from the juniors on their right. He continued, unhindered, " The Audorie Holt I know would never return to that pumpkin head after the way he stood you up the other day. She would not STICK HER TONGUE DOWN HIS THROAT THE WAY YOU JUST DID!"

It was dead silent by the time he ended his sentence. The common room had once again shifted its attention to Audorie. She sent a silent thanks to Merlin when she realised that Ruthford was not amongst them.

His words menacingly cut through her. She could not stand Albus. Her face had turned red, both in anger and embarrassment. "Stop screaming, you ass!" She tried her best to keep her voice down. Even though he did not.

"Tell me, why are you demeaning yourself, Auds?" His voice was soft and yet loud.

Audorie took a deep breath before answering, "I'm not demeaning myself. He makes me happy. And since when do you decide how Audorie Holt should react?" Her voice was quivering, her eyes were fixed at Albus'. A constant grimace was etched into her pretty face.

"Auds–"

"Don't!" Audorie raised her index finger. "Don't call me that. And you know what else you shouldn't be calling me any time soon? Your best mate. You have treated me like anything but that!"

That hit him right in the feels. She could see right through him, he realised. Of course, nobody understood what Audorie had meant but Albus. He wanted to hug her when her eyes had filled with emotion. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to tell her that he never wanted things to be complicated. He wanted to tell her that her best mate was always there for her no matter how many amount of times he would make an ass out of himself.

But he did not. Only because he also wanted to tell her that she deserved better. Someone who did not just let her sulk alone in the common room. Someone who did not show her off in front of a crowd like a piece of meat. Someone who actually knew what a wonderful person she had grown to become. He wanted to tell her all those things and still want to be on good terms. He knew that was impossible. All he knew he could do was hug his best mate. He knew it would be inappropriategiven what they had done a few days ago and that they had still not recovered from it. But he couldn't resist. Those beautiful brown eyes had never been this hurt. Her emotions resulted in trepidation of her tiny fists. How he wished he could just hold them and make it all right. He wanted to brush away those wavy brown locks and tell her what she meant to him. He thought about what she meant and though his mind shouted that she was his best mate, something within him just couldn't agree. Before he could let his concience take over, he walked over to her and bent lower to embrace her.

But she ducked. She ducked and slid sideways in one swift motion. Before Albus could comprehend what had occurred, she was on the staircase which led the way to girls' dormitories. She did not turn once.

* * *

 **A/N:–**

 **Do you guys hate me? Trust me, this was necessary. Review please! The next chapter is going to have a lot of action. Albus will be listening to his stupid pubescent self. Keep reading!**


	5. Misguiding Deeds

**A/N:-** **I appreciate your patience. The story is at a slow pace and the plot is going to get thicker. Just warning you people before you attack for what's going to happen. Lol, I love you people.**

 **DISCLAIMER:- I own no rights to the fandom of Harry Potter or its counterparts. This is merely amateur writing for entertainment. I only own the plot and my original characters.**

 **CHAPTER 5:-**

 **"MISGUIDING INDEED"**

"Really? Another one of your bimbos?" Jannet raised her eyebrows accusingly.  
Luke gasped in disgrace as Albus took a seat beside him on the Gryffindor table in the Great hall. Being one of the last ones to arrive for breakfast, Albus could pile very less on his plate. He was not complaining though. Food did not seem like a priority to him this morning.

"Is Alex beautiful? Yes, I agree," Luke protested in a matter of factly tone. "Does she have irresistible curves? Why yes, she does!" By this point Jannet was smashing her forehead against the table. Audorie was too busy eating her breakfast to even look at her friends, let alone Albus. Randy was simply watching his two best friends argue with amusement and a spark in his eyes which said that this was exactly how he had figured his day would start.

"Does she have the most enrapturing and flawlessly glowing skin? I confirm that," Luke continued. "Does she have two of the biggest, most scrumptious and juiciest–"  
"Okaayyyy," Audorie finally looked up "I wasn't listening to you but even I know you should shut up now." She shook her head in utter disdain while Jannet looked like she would puke any second.

"Eyes, guys! Juicy eyes," Luke protested while the rest four rolled their eyes at him. "So my point is that even though she has all those things, she's not a bimbo."

"That's what you say about all your girls! Next thing I know, I have to answer how short a skirt she should be wearing to make it easier for you to take off." She buried her face in her hands and let out an anxious groan. Luke grinned with pride.

"There's no wrong answer to that. I'm a pro anyway," Luke winked at her. Before Jannet could jab a knife in one of Luke's eyes, Albus spoke up.

"Where's this conversation headed to again?"

"Luke wants to ask out Alec Smith," Randy replied cursorily, slightly annoyed that his entertainment was being restricted. Albus turned to see where Randy was pointing. He saw the chatty Ravenclaw sitting right across their group, laughing with her friends, brushing her curls away from her eyes regardless of how many times they found their way back and simply looking on with her new found gregarious composure. His stomach knotted at the scene. His old friend...this special comrade...had changed. Despite being so close the last year, she had completely ignored his existence this year. Albus was afraid that things with Luke, someone who had not known her like Albus did, would definitely go the unexpected way. Alec had changed. He then looked at Luke. All he could notice was the eagerness and hope in his blue misty eyes. Albus was not one to voice his concerns where they were not required. He also knew how upset everyone was regarding his behaviour with Audorie the previous night.

"Date whoever you wish to," Jannet growled and added with utter disgust in her voice "I will not pick up the pieces of your break up. Daphne can stick it for all I care."

At this point Audorie put down her fork as an action of repulse. "Great. Absolutely great," she said sounding completely the opposite, "Can I not go through one breakfast meal without THIS one," she pointed at Luke "discussing juicy mammary glands and THIS other one," she pointed at Jannet "amorously putting down other females?" She glared at Randy demanding for an answer. Up until this point he had not really anticipated participation as a relevant breakfast activity which was why he turned to Albus for his supreme guidance. "I think the last time we tried that, they sent Howlers all over the place to each other's dates." Albus shrugged and wishfully glanced at Audorie, hoping she would acknowledge his presence and response. She picked up her fork and angrily stabbed a pea on her plate.

Upon realizing that the angry banter was over, Luke was quick to pipe up: "Jazzle," he addressed Jannet with her least favourite pet name, which also happened to be a jape about her pompous or, as Luke liked to sarcastically point out, dazzling fashion sense. Jannet groaned in response. Luke continued unhindered "Jazzle, you do not have to sympathise with Daphne. You've already helped me a whole bunch."

"This bitch gave me two letters," Jannet explained to the rest, "One asking Alec to meet Luke near the abandoned classroom on the third floor. The second one addressed to Daphne breaking up with her." Jannet further went on to explain how she had managed to charm the letters to be delivered exactly after breakfast.

"Which gives me absolutely no time to waste!" Luke shot up from his seat."Daphne will have lectures right now and when she's free, I'll have mine. This way, she has time to cool down and I have time with Alec." He grinned and waved them all goodbye before skipping out of the Great Hall.

Jannet spent no more time talking and excused herself before heading to the Common Room for catching up on some homework before class. There wasn't much time for her to make it to the Common Room, do her homework and still reach the Charms classroom before Flitwick. It made no sense to Albus and it worried him even more how quickly she had gobbled down her breakfast to hurry back to her dorm without asking Audorie whether she wanted to. Audorie did not seem to put much thought to it. Instead she did her best to completely disengage herself from the awkward conversation Randy was weaving around the morning's Daily Prophet headlines.

"I think it's wonderful that centaurs are interacting with retailers." Randy was now holding on to the newspaper for dear life as the tension built up. "We need a record for the share they hold in the market. Even though it's very indirect and discreet for the Ministry to track..."

Audorie was still looking down at her plate and had her notepad out to tabulate her study schedule. She scribbled on for what seemed like ages. Albus stole glances at her creased forehead.

Randy was now blabbering about some referendum passed by the Chief Warlock of Wizengamot.

Audorie caught Albus' eye before instantly looking away. She scratched her head trying to recall something while Albus leaned back in his chair, feeling guilty and distressed.

Randy now spoke about gentrification of a tribe of Giants in the south of Ural Mountains.

Audorie continued fidgeting with her quill. Albus kept tying the knot in his stomach with his grievances and guilt.

Randy continued reading the headlines. "The wizards in South Dakota are still facing the year long...This is pathetic!" he exclaimed, "The last time I came this far while reading The Daily Prophet without anyone calling me their grandpa was in the broomstick cupboard, hiding from all of you. Filtch thought I was masturbating to an ad of cheap gillyweed. This is ridiculous! The two of you-TALK-now!"

Audorie put her quill down in frustration and regained her composure. "Hey," Audorie looked at Albus dead in the eyes, daring him to proceed.

"Auds, can we please not fight. I was just worried about you the other day. At the end of the day, you're my-"

"Best mate," Audorie spoke softly while looking away from him with a sad smile on her face. "Yeah, you made that pretty clear." She pursed her lips.

Albus' face scrunched up trying to make sense of Audorie's words. Audorie sighed and looked at Albus with a grin etched into her face while folding her arms. "What does that even mean, Auds?" Albus questioned innocently. Randy looked just as confused.

"Just that we're best friends!" she replied while rolling her eyes as if it could not be any clearer. "Al, that's what we've always been," she looked at him with soft eyes, "and I'm grateful for it, honestly. I just don't want you to control my life and read too much into it."

"I know that I should have trusted you with what you were doing. I just thought that after all of the humiliation he put you through-"

"Why don't you let me decide whether I felt humiliated when he stood me up," she shot back sharply while raising her eyebrows.

"I-"

"Plus, he's a nice guy if you just give him a shot," her brown eyes urged him to understand. "I don't want to lose you, Al."

"Fine, but I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why are you underestimating me? Why are you behaving so high and mighty?"

"I'm not-"

"I'm your best mate, Al. I think you've taught me a thing or two about being happy and standing up for myself." She smiled softly and it melted his resolve. He smiled back because she was putting effort into making things better. He felt like he was just worsening them.

That's why he kept silent when Ruthford came to steal her away and walk her to class.

"She knows how to walk to class," Albus sneered. Randy gave him a reproving look of an old grandpa whose spectacles would dangle from the tip of his nose. Albus sighed and pursed his lips till both finished breakfast.

When they finally did, a charmed paper airplane found its way to them and landed on Randy's feet. Upon unfolding it, they came across Luke's rushed handwriting. The paper was impatiently scribbled on and the mess was stubbornly difficult to comprehend. "Head to the third floor corridor and tell Alec I'm sorry," it read. Two worrisome friends rushed to the third's aid.

* * *

The abandoned corridor was just that. Albus could thus hear the hushed footsteps from across the passage to the right at the end of the corridor.

"I don't have a good feeling about talking to Alec. Can you do it instead?" Albus turned to Randy with pleading eyes. She had changed so drastically that even the thought of her made his stomach turn. Her aura seemed notably withdrawing ever since the beginning of the year.

Randy nodded with mutual understanding. He composed himself when Alec took a turn from the passage and stomped down the corridor.

The sound of her feet ringing through the walls was demanding to be heard; her ravishing curly black hair flailing in all directions, demanding to be seen. Her robes were windswept which deemed instrumental for relishing her majestic legs. Her tight skirt could barely be acknowledged above the long terrain of toned skinny legs. The sharpness in her eyes reflected that they were just there for business. Her loose and casual composure implied that she was all ears to her old best friend. Her entire demeanour was an oxymoron in itself.

"Al..Albus?" Her quivering voice added to the confusion.

She had walked past Randy and was now stood right in front of Albus, who, with all his might, had attempted to be completely detached from the duo. The sound of her calling out his name made him inevitably look up. Their eyes resonated with a feeling of mutual understanding.

"I got the letter," her voice emanated a tinge bit of familiarity.

"Yeah, about that...Luke couldn't be here, sorry."

She looked around to only find Randy awkwardly lingering a distance away. She nodded, befuddled. "Umm... That's okay. I really want to talk about us."

His eyes shot up from the dismantled tiles of the abandoned corridor in amazement. "Us?" he confirmed.

She nodded affirmatively. "I don't want to continue like this. We've had some great times together," she stepped closer. "Just because I have had a past with fuckboys doesn't mean I should distance myself from you. I have done this to everyone, especially you." She frowned upon the idea of isolation. Her anxiety was eminent by the perennial upheaval of her chest. It was unsettling for Albus to look at his, albeit, ex-friend.

"Alec," he decided to put her out of her misery and continued with his eyes transfixed at hers. "I don't judge you for anything. I am sure there must be reason for it."

She gave him a reassuring smile.

"Also, I've missed my Care of Magical Creatures partner." Albus grinned solemnly at her. Her head shot back with a laugh as if revisiting all their memories through the brink of her consciousness. "Even though you're pretty bad at it," Albus shrugged it away smugly.

"Oh really?" she rolled her eyes mischievously. "Okay, riddle me this," she raised her eyebrows threateningly and continued "Who released a Blast-Ended-Skrewt on Hagrid's dog last year?"

Albus scrunched up his face in supposed anguish and replied "You did. That was definitely you."

"Then maybe I ran helter-skelter into the Forbidden Forest too?"

"Hey, it was fourth year, OK?" Albus motioned her to stop with the humiliation. "We all do stupid things when we're fourteen!"

Alec giggled discreetly when a strand of her curls found way to the front of her cheeks. He was reminded of the warm fuzzy feeling of comfort and familiarity he was enveloped within in the two year duration of their friendship.

He spoke the first thought that came to his mind: "I've missed this." She sobered down and looked at him expectantly with her swan-like thin eyes. "I've missed us."

Before he could comprehend what had occurred, her hands were wrapped around his neck and her thick lips had attacked his parched ones. A rough peck sent him straight into oblivion. His eyes widened at the spontaneity of the situation. Her hands lingered over his shoulders in a tight embrace as she pulled back. Her thin eyes shot Albus with an intense and playfully challenging stare.

"Yes to the date on Sunday."

"Wha-"

"There's no reason we shouldn't give it a shot."

"Alec-"

"Plus, I have to admit, I've always admired your guts."

"My guts?"

"Even though they are moderately foiled when it comes to rendering a smooch."

"A what now?"

"ALEC? You absolute twat, we're going to miss Transfiguration!" hollered the voice of her best friend Kate Dunham from across the hall.

Before Albus could comprehend his predicament, she had waved him goodbye and skipped to her best friend down the corridor. Tumultuous Randy stood 6 feet away, frowning into space as he pieced it together. He shot a disgruntled look towards Albus as he made his way across to him.

"Luke is going to be pissed."

"Randy, you have to believe me. I didn't-"

"I trust you Al. I understand something went wrong. Luke on the other hand, may not." It was Randy's cutting stare which made Albus at unease with the idea of the utter dismissal. "Al," Randy emphasised "we might have to steal his copy of the Bro Code for a while."

* * *

"Jannet, you had one job."

"And so I made sure it was completed, Luke. How would I know that the letters would get interchanged?"

Luke sat still. His eyes were empty blue hollows. The mist was gone; so was the joy in them. His reverie seemed detrimental to his facial expression and over all well being. Every time Jannet would shoot back at him, Luke would sigh and his shoulders would look heavier. The pit in Albus' stomach became deeper. Randy motioned him to calm down and wait for everything to unravel while Audorie eyed them suspiciously.

"You could have just said no. You didn't have to go through with this."

Jannet's composure took a one-eighty-degree turn and she not-so-amusingly raised her eyebrows and etched a look of disgust onto her face. "Are you trying to insinuate that I have the spare time to mess with your private life? Honestly, that's even more ridiculous than you are."

Luke was absolutely befuddled by this remark. He stood up from the armchair right across the fireplace and looked her straight in the eyes."I am not saying that, but there has to be a reason this happened. There better be! I didn't go through so much amount of suffering by facing Daphne for nothing."

"If only you had the guts to spit it out on her face, maybe there wouldn't have been any suffering after all." Jannet rolled her eyes in despair.

"Oi!" Luke was enraged. He stepped closer to an inch near her and mocked, "Look who's becoming the moral police all of a sudden!"

"Guys!" Audorie stepped in. "You're literally turning against each other for what seems like merely a mistake of the interchanging of letters. It could happen to anyone."

"No," Luke shook his head reprovingly, "This was not a mistake. The letter Daphne received clearly stated that I wanted to take her out for an evening walk by the lake. It went into details of when and where, Audorie. If they were interchanged, how did the extra part get on there?" He challenged any of them to look at him.

This was it. Albus knew Alec's letter had extra details about a date on Sunday too. He caught Randy's eye as if he had just arrived to the same conclusion. Just as he was about voice his concerns and come clear of what he had accidently done, the universe decided to endow upon him the greatest tribulation there could be.

"Albus! My man and my boy!" James' voice rung in his ears as that of the humming of a bee. James still looked dull with his face hanging and hair neatly set unlike their usual wildly grotesque manner.

Both, James and a scowl, came unannounced to Albus. "We're kind of in the middle of something here. Can we please talk later, James?"

"If i could, I would." James plopped down on an armchair facing the malcontent Luke, who was now shooting darts from his peripheral vision. "I have a proposition to make."

"James, seriousl-"

"It has to do with the letter we sent to McGonagall."

Silence ensued.

"Ever since you told me you wouldn't take the blame for the incident, I have been thinking." James ran his fingers through his neat hair and ruffled his tresses. "It's a smart move, Albus," his voice grew heavy and dank while he continued "and, yet I cannot condone it."

"What are you suggesting?" Albus longingly gazed at him while the rest of the group eagerly observed the exchange.

"I'm not having it. I need things done and that is why I propose that we settle it like men."

Jannet piped up with a concerned expression ironically filled with disgust "Don't tell me that you are going to arm-wrestle."

"Nah," James dismissed, while resting his legs impertinently on the gateleg table diving himself and Luke, "I mean real competition."

"Which is what exactly?" Albus asked innocuously.

"I suggest a Prank War to even the ground."

"BULLOCKS," Ablus chimed out. "Even the ground? How exactly is this even fair?"

"You have no choice."

"James, I am positively declining!"

"You can't back off now. You're already roped in." James stood up straight with one massive jerk of his legs, as if ready to do business.

"What do you mean?" Albus frowned deeply at his brother who was now prancing away from the fireplace.

James stopped dead in his tracks and threw a hard stare at his brother over his shoulder. "Isn't it your first date this Sunday?" Before Albus could answer, James said "Was Sunday really a good day to plan it, I wonder?" His neck twisted the other way. "I'm sorry, Luke. Ask your boy Albus here, letters can be misguiding. Especially when I'm involved."

James Potter swaggered past the insane crowd of the Gryffindor Common Room and disappeared into what seemed like a much better place to Albus than anywhere near a fuming Luke Owen and a disappointed Audorie Holt.

* * *

 **A/N:-** **This was fun to write. The next chapter will be up soon. Do let me know what you think about this so far!**


	6. That was when

**A/N** **: In this chapter 'Age' refers to James' age. Please relate his age with the year he will be studying in, to understand. Also, remember that Hogwarts starts on September 1st of every year.**

 **DISCLAIMER** **: I ONLY OWN MY OC'S AND MY PLOT. Everything else belongs to the Harry Potter franchise.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER :** **6:-**

" **THAT WAS** **WHEN…."**

 **AGE: 10 yrs**

"DAD!" the eight year old Albus screeched at the top of his voice for what seemed like the hundredth time to James, that morning.

Ginny was a little busy baking apple pie for the Potter-Weasley Christmas get-together which was to be held that evening at the Burrow. She finally could not hear any more of her younger son whine for the attention of his father, who was probably having the time of his life. She cleared her throat loud enough to send the sound travelling down from the kitchen to the living room of the Potter Residence.

Immediately, Harry's voice shot into action: "Yes Albus, what is the matter?" His gleeful eyes overlooking the morning's Prophet to apprehensively catch his younger son's hopeful green eyes.

"Dad, why is it that you have gifted me ugly socks for Christmas?"

"Albus Severus Potter." Harry put down the Prophet smugly and continued with a pretentious tone, "You were named for the two headmasters-"

"MOM, he's doing it again!"

"-of Hogwarts. One of them had once said and I quote, 'One can never have enough pairs of socks.' And the second did not have anyone to love him enough to gift him socks."

Ginny entered the living room and placed her apple pie on the centre table.

"You cannot use that excuse for everything!" said Albus, stomping his foot. "Last time I asked for shampoo you said that one of the two headmasters probably never used shampoo in his entire life!"

Oops, Ginny had not known about that one. Ginny placed her hands on her hips and shot a reprimanding look at Harry.

Harry, who had been pleased with himself till now, groaned. "Can a person not have a little fun in life?" Ginny's glare deepened. Harry immediately turned to Albus and said, "The red present near the tree, which has no name tag is for you."

Albus rushed away with excitement.

More like skipped away.

Harry gave Ginny a smirk and said, "Possibly you couldn't have thought that I would forget a Christmas present for our favorite son?"

"I am sitting right here." said James who was sitting next to Harry on an armchair.

Harry continued unhindered, "I am a great father and an amazing husband." He held her hands in his and showered them with numerous soft kisses, much to James' dismay.

Ginny rolled her eyes, although James could've sworn that he saw a smile curling at the corner of her mouth. She said, "Let's leave that for me to decide, shall we?" Harry sobered his poise with his arms behind his back and his gaze boring playfully into Ginny's eyes, waiting for her stance "Now, have you cleaned the storeroom I asked you to this morning?"

Within seconds Harry had apparated to the storeroom and had brought James by side-along apparition.

"GET TO WORK NOW!" he demanded, already levitating six items at once.

"Can I ask you something Dad?" said James, looking apprehensive.

Harry stopped and replied as soon as he sensed the tension in James' voice, "Yes, most definitely." He joined James across the room and crouched down his level.

"You keep telling Albus that he is named after the two headmasters of Hogwarts," James stated in a forcefully casual tone, "Who did you name me after?" He rambled on, "I mean, I know you named me after your father and godfather but, what was so special about them? You tell Albus that one headmaster was really brave or-"

"You my dear son," Harry replied with twinkle in his eyes, a grin swept across his face and one hand affectionately over James' messy hair, "you are named after two of the greatest pranksters to ever step into Hogwarts." James grinned back.

That was when James knew that he was born to be the biggest badass ever.

(*Rock music in the background*)

* * *

 **AGE: 12 yrs**

"I am correct!" eight year old Lily screamed.

"You are not!" Albus screamed back.

"I AM CORRECT" Lily screamed her lungs out to the extent that James had to cover his ears to make sure his eardrums did not burst. He failed.

Lily faced James. 'Uh-Oh' James thought. She pouted and made sure her adorable blue eyes glistened and bulged out. Her chin trembled and she held James' index finger in her tiny little hand while sucking on her other hand's thumb and said, "Jamsie, don't you 'ink I'm 'wight?" Her voice was close to cracking.

"A hundred percent," replied James. Lily gave a screech of joy with her doll held above her head in both hands as a sign of victory. She ran out of the room, still screeching.

"Why did you tell her that tomato is a vegetable and not a fruit?" said Albus, folding his arms and facing James.

"Because," James rolled his eyes while he continued "if I had said otherwise then she would just ask a lot of questions! And truthfully speaking, I don't think I am responsible enough to explain why tomato is a fruit…."

"So to escape that, you give her wrong information?"

"Precisely."

"You're horrid."

"Oh C'mon Albus, even if Lily said that Hippogriffs grow on trees, I would side by her, not you. It is not to escape questions but, because she is my adorably, cute little eight year old sister who has a fragile heart while you're just this random guy I have to share my room with because he is too scared to sleep alone."

"You put Blast-Ended-Skrewts under my bed." Albus murmured.

"Baby ones," James protested, "I thought those were fun."

While James thought about it and amused himself, Albus was absolutely disgusted and was about to leave.

"Albus, wait!" James called out.

"What?" Albus folded his arms and threw him an uninterested look.

James said, "Remember how I spoilt your birthday?"

"You mean how you fed my dress robes to the gnomes by mistake, which only allowed me to wear the purple ones with the flower print on it?"

"Yes. Good times…" James trailed off with a smirk across his face.

Albus turned to leave but, James leapt out of his bed to stop Albus.

"Wait." he said. "I realize my mistake and I also realize that I never got you anything." He removed a untidily wrapped present from the drawer of his study table and gave it to Albus.

Albus unwrapped the present and found 'Wizard Hairdo Magix Kit' inside.

"You know how Mom works hours on our hair before a party to tame it. Well, this kit will do it all for you in seconds. It also helps you maintain your hairstyle." James smiled. "I just thought that at least one male member in this family should have normal hair and you-"

James had been cut off by Albus when he pulled James into an embrace. "Wow, James. Just wow," Albus whispered into James' collarbones.

"Albus, it is nice to know you like the gesture but, I still hate you"

"That's fine."

"Albus?"

"Yeah?"

"I can hear my ribs breaking."

That was when James decided that he would never gift Albus anything in the future.

He still did.

* * *

 **AGE: 13 yrs (August)**

Five days. Fucking five days. FIVE FREAKING DAYS!

No matter how he put it, Teddy Lupin could not get in terms with the amount of time it had taken for him to convince Harry to ask Bill if Teddy and Victorie could meet at Harry's house on Saturday. Rest of the family had decided to have dinner at the Burrow.

On Friday, James broke his ankle after falling from the staircase. He had been advised by a Healer for bed rest. Thus, he was supposed to stay at home on Saturday. Teddy was annoyed and thus he made sure that James lay on the upper storeys of the Potter Residence on Saturday.

Saturday afternoon Bill stopped by to give his confirmation and permission for Teddy to be with Victorie. But, he insisted more on meeting James. After meeting him he said that someone had to stay with James and thus he would drop Dominique to take care of him.

Teddy did not care. He knew that Dominique would not bother anyone if she had James who, was her best friend and would not be to cause mischief with her.

Evening came and James and Dominique were upstairs with Teddy and Victorie downstairs. Teddy jinxed the stairs and James' room's door so that both children would not disturb the adults.

But, his fate had given up on good will.

Several of his kissing sessions had been disturbed. The one in the pantry room was disrupted by water balloons with water which did not evaporate for six hours. The one on the sofa was disrupted by slime which was poured down on them wherever they touched. The one in the kitchen was disrupted by dungbombs which went off every time they looked at each other.

After smelling like a thousand dungbombs, being wet for hours and being slimy in personal places, Teddy understood.

Bill Weasley had met James and mended his ankle for sometime. Bill Weasley had dropped Dominique because he knew that nothing was more disastrous than the duo. Bill Weasley, the curse breaker, had made James and Dominique immune to any jinxes which Teddy would use.

Yes, it had taken five days for Teddy to convince Harry but, it only took Bill five seconds to demolish his plan.

That was when James knew that nothing was more fun than messing with family.

* * *

 **AGE 13 (Starting of the year: September 2nd)**

 **LOCATION- Transfiguration class room**

Fred had eaten too much at the 'Starting of the year' feast and now lay on a bed in the Hospital wing with abundant potion vials by his bedside. James could not understand for the life of him why Madam Pomfrey was fussing over Fred so much because James knew well that hogging at feasts came with the surname. James had yet to get over his defeat in the 'All you can eat' challenge with Ginny last Christmas.

He reached a little too late for Transfiguration after escaping a very enraged Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing. The class had not started but, since many decided to drop Transfiguration for their third year, new seating arrangements had to be decided. Everyone had already sought a bench with their friends when James entered. It was only a split second later that McGonagall arrived and hushed down the excited class of third year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, which had prevented James from exchanging seats with anyone. Thus, James had only one option left- the seat next to his fellow Gryffindor- Lisa Craig.

"Do you mind?" he asked her.

"Of course not." She replied politely, shifting her parchments and bag to one side of the desk, allowing James to get settled in the spare space. The lecture started and James grumbled under his breath. Transfiguration had never really been his favorite subject. As the lecture proceeded, James felt as thought there was nothing to look forward to in the subject anymore. He always hated the theory part and just wanted to skip to the practical. What use were the incomprehensible Laws of Transfiguration when, at the end of the day all you have to do is conjure the stupid spell? Of course, the theory in Charms gave you pointers as to how to cast the spell but, in Transfiguration, it was easy to lose interest in the tediously long laws and exercises even before you reached the pointers.

James sat in the class unsure of what his classmates were scribbling down occasionally as McGonagall yapped away. After an hour of that, McGonagall gave them half an hour to transfigure their teapots into turquoises. James did it in less than five minutes. The joy of it drained away when he realized that Lisa had done it a few seconds before him. He stooped even lower in his seat, now disconcerted, when he saw that her turquoise was the prettier of the two. They had always been friends but, not always the best. This was partially because of the unspoken tension between the two to dominate the other in every subject and partially because they had never held a full fledged conversation lasting for more then five minutes with each other to judge personally.

Lisa saw James eyeing her prettier turquoise as if attempting to find a flaw in it. She decided to resolve the tension and spoke up. "I am pretty sure they gave you an uglier teapot." She said quite earnestly in an attempt to cheer him up.

James immediately looked at her, flustered at being caught. "Yes….Yeah, definitely. Mine had a chipped stout, you know?" James protested pointing at his turquoise.

"That's horrid!" she replied with hurt in her eyes.

"It is!" he nodded his head enthusiastically.

They caught each other's eyes and paused for a second to look at each other's amused faces and chuckled.

"We're horrible competitors."

"Yes, we are." he agreed, still chuckling.

"I can teach you these simple tricks my Grandmother taught me. That's what really helped me here."

"That'd be great." he said. He really did not think so because his dignity had yet to get on terms with being crushed like that. But, curiosity got the better of him.

"I tried them last night-" Lisa continued only to be cut off by James.

"That's how you spent your first night back to Hogwarts?" he sounded bloody cryptic, due to which Lisa rolled her eyes.

"At least I did something progressive. What did you do? Lay your lazy arse on the four poster bed all night?"

James seemed to miss the repulsed look on her face. " I would've loved to! I don't understand why you would think that's a bad thing…" James replied bluntly.

Lisa rolled her eyes for the second time. She did that a lot around him. It was surely no surprise why this was the longest conversation they had held with each other without a third person in the picture.

James continued, "I would've but, apparently, Fred could only have so many Pumpkin Pasties and not get ill."

"Is that why he isn't here?" she asked, now concerned.

"Yeah, he is in the Hospital Wing."

"Poor thing."

"No. No need to pity him," said James as he held up his index finger. "That piece of shit got me kicked out of the Hospital Wing, you know? I could've skipped Transfiguration." he grumbled.

"What did you do?" asked Lisa while she organized her parchments. McGonagall stool four benches away, correcting wand movements.

"What?" James looked at her, astonished.

Lisa looked up from her parchments. "Possibly, you did something to get kicked out."

"I am innocent! He got me kicked out." It was not until Lisa gave him a skeptical look that he told the truth:

"I offered him a Chocolate Frog" he said under his breath.

"You're a horrid brother!" she exclaimed while swatting his arm.

"But, Pomfrey wouldn't have kicked me out if he didn't have enough nerve to accept the Frog!" he protested.

"No way!" she chuckled at the idea while her notes lay forgotten.

"He did! Through his trembling hands, scrambling for energy to bring it to his mouth. Would have eaten it too if Madam Pomfrey hadn't Stupefied him in time. It was really amusing to watch the gleam in his eyes fade away like that when she took it away." James looked so blissful that if somebody were to ask him to jump off the Astronomy Tower then he probably would have.

Lisa managed a few words through her chuckles "You're the worst brother ever." She shoved him by the shoulder. He laughed a little too loudly. McGonagall threw them a threatening glare and they quieted down, still shooting each other a knowing look.

With their noses buried into their textbooks, they continued their rapport. "Fred was just lying there with a deadpan expression. I've never seen him like that." James said with a hoarse voice and his eyes fixated. "I had to do something." he said, pretending to jot important points from his textbooks. "He would've done the same for me." He shrugged well naturedly.

Lisa smiled. Maybe, James was more than just competition. His concern for Fred was very impressive.

"You were only cheering him up?" James nodded. "I should have known. You two are always joined at the hip." James sniggered at that, still looking down at his parchment while Lisa shuffled through her textbooks to avoid being caught by McGonagall's eye.

There was a minute's silence, which, for her first time with James, was not anxious. That lasted until Lisa said:

"Say James, you and Fred are great at pulling pranks?" James grinned and nodded, still looking down. Lisa continued, "Why do I have a feeling that you and Fred are responsible for the missing toilet seats from the boy's lavatory?"

James glanced sideways at her and so did she.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Is that a yes?" she said as she wriggled her eyebrows.

"Of course!" he shot his head back and laughed wholeheartedly. "It is a family legacy, Lisa" he smiled warmly at her.

Lisa groaned, "Don't remind me how crazy your family is. I share a dorm with the biggest drama queen of it."

"Where is she? I thought you two are together for every class."

"We are. But, apparently Dominique Weasley found it beyond her will power to get her arse off her bed this morning and decided to sleep in until the end of at least Transfiguration."

James pounded his fist on the desk in utter displease. "You're telling me that my sister gets to do what I would give anything for right now?" he asked with betrayal in his eyes. Lisa nodded while rolling her eyes at the ancestral ability to throw pointless tantrum. "Bloody hell! Now, I need you to avenge me. Or at least wake her up on time. Listen," he held Lisa by her shoulders to get her full attention, "Dom has only one weakness." Lisa leaned closer so that James could whisper it in her ear. "Tickling. Tickle her." She raised her eyebrows and he continued, "Her legs will fail her. She'll fall off the bed. Her eyes will look enraged but, don't give up!" The pupils in his eyes dilated while he decided the blueprint of his evil maneuvers.

"I have a feeling she'll go into her karate mode." Lisa flinched.

"And I have a feeling that if anyone can do this and get out of it unharmed then it is you." he said earnestly. Lisa smirked at the genuine comment.

"Nice of you to say that but I am way ahead of you. She must already be awake."

"How so?"

"Let's say I somehow managed to leave her a Howler rambling like a very angry Fleur Weasley in French. And I am sure that I will take this secret to my grave." Lisa placed her hand to her chest in a proud manner. James sniggered.

"You are the smartest thing ever." he agreed.

Lisa frowned. "Why are you complimenting me so much, Potter? Why are you flattering me? Have you any other cousins you wish to trouble?" she wriggled her eyebrows.

His eyes widened and his head snapped to her side within a second's time. "LOADS OF THEM!" he replied, staring at her fiercely.

Next thing he knew, they were both grinning from ear to ear, to all his cousins' dismay.

That was when James knew that maybe this year there was something to look forward to in Transfiguration.

* * *

 **AGE: 14 yrs (30th September):**

SMACK!

SMACK!

WHACK!

The infuriated Ravenclaw girls walked past the wavered James Potter, who was holding his reddened, left cheek as if afraid that the piece of anatomy would chip off from his face.

"Thirty-two," James sighed under his breath.

Fred, Prince and Ezra, his best friends, were maintaining a ten meter distance ahead of him because they were worried that James' condition was contagious. They shot worried yet, cursory glances towards him.

After thirty-two slaps and seven kicks to the shin, James completed his journey from the Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall for his breakfast. Nobody had noticed his presence yet. James shivered upon wondering what would happen if they did.

Eight more slaps was what happened.

A very dejected James Potter was about to advance to the Gryffindor table when he saw her get up. She was approaching him from a distance. James could have sworn he had never seen a sexier flounce (which was saying something because he had seen forty on his was to the Great Hall itself). Despite spending hours with her planning shenanigans last year, she was suddenly having that effect on him this year. Her golden dirty blonde hair swayed from one side to the other, in resonance with her hips. Her gorgeous round grey eyes added a pompous display to her otherwise simple, long face. Her chin bore an adorable dimple, which James found her sharpest feature. Wait, why was he staring at her? It was hard not to because when he wasn't looking at her face he was looking at her legs. James panicked at this. He immediately closed his eyes. He was then left thinking how fourteen looked great on her and how the summer had been very kind to her. His lips were halfway through a grin when reality struck him. James groaned internally. 'She's going to slap me too?' he thought. He could have gone through getting slapped by the whole of Britain but her. He peered at her with one open eye and she shot him a glare full of vigor. 'DAMN' he thought. He closed his eyes again to brace himself and flinched when she was one metre away.

"I am not slapping you, Potter," her voice called.

James opened one eye to verify and the other to eye her closely.

"Kicking me then?" he asked.

"No. Nothing of that sort. Why would you think so?" James heaved a breath. He ran his hands through his hair and said:

"Girls have been slapping me ever since I left my dorm. Frankly speaking, I can't remember anything I could do to upset so many all at once. I've dated none of them…"

"Maybe, it's a totally different thing altogether," she said, interrupting his chain of thoughts.

"Like what?"

"Like someone sending horribly rude mail to all those girls by your name which led to the start of the chain mail regarding the recent 'Punish the Potter' campaign all over Hogwarts."

James' jaw dropped as Lisa stood with her arms folded.

"Bloody hell!" he swore. "I-who would-No way!" He pressed his temples. "Wait," he said and looked at her, astonished. "Lisa, how do you know?" He squinted suspiciously.

Lisa raised her eyebrow and replied, "How do you think?"

James saw her lips quirk up slightly and he directed his index finger at her with a crazy grimace and said, "You did this?"

Lisa's tone turned chirpy, her expression, surprised and she bounced on her toes. "Nice of you to notice!"

His head twisted and his eyes closed shut to express his anger.

"Aw, is ickle Jamsie Potter angry?" she asked playfully. James heard the pet name only Lily was permitted to call him by and his mouth twitched. He opened his eyes to glare at her but, when he started to, his glare turned soft into a despondent gaze into her deep grey eyes.

"Why would you do that? It is not even funny," he cried out.

Her eyes flickered and she said in a frank tone, "Wasn't meant to be. It was purely for the sake of revenge."

"Revenge?" he repeated, confused, now racking his brain for what he could have done to her.

"Yes," she started, while folding her arms threateningly. "If you think you can tell my brother that you predicted him falling off his broom just to get the mickey out of him 'cause he just started Divination, then you are wrong." She a pressed her index finger into his masculine chest. "You might've scared him away from Quidditch tryouts but there is nothing in your power you can do to scare me!" she scolded and was now just an inch away from him. He backed off a little and she followed, never leaving his gaze. "My brother may be too much of a pussy to challenge the Potter's spawn but I'm not. You listen to me Potter," she said with crazy eyes and James gulped. "You hurt or prank anyone close to me then, get one thing straight- you will not get out of it unharmed." Her dancing eyes gave away her calm and serene tone. "You understand?"

James recalled all those horrendous things girls had said to him and all those slaps due to which his cheeks still ached and the kicks which had rendered his shin sore and he nodded immediately, panic stricken.

Her mouth broke into a wide grin and she again bounced on her feet. "Great to do business with you, Potter," she said in a cheerful tone. When she skipped away, James finally heaved a silent breath.

He knew taking the warning seriously was his only option and yet, 'Did she smell like cocoa?' was all he could think of. He grinned.

That was when James knew that this girl was meant to be messed with.

* * *

 **A/N** **: I HAVE LOVED WORKING ON THIS. James is fun to write and u will be seeing a lot about his past life and why he behaves the way he does. Do tell me what you think about this storyline. Positive criticism is appreciated.** **Another James-centric chapter is headed your way once some Albus issues are dealt with.**

 **Have a good day :).**


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